April 3rd My email updates

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April 3rd, 2005
Friends & Family,
On 3-31-05 Mark was in a terrible accident Thursday morning on his way to work. He had his chest severely crushed and was thrown from his truck in a 3 car accident. A young woman ran a stop sign at full speed and hit him and pushed him into oncoming traffic where was hit again head on by another truck.
He will be in intensive care and on a ventilator for a few weeks and will be in the hospital several months. It will be a long time until he can speak to us the doctors said. Right now he is unstable and sedated.
PLEASE PRAY FOR HIM.

Thank you,
Mark's wife,
Mallory

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April 5th, 2005
Dear Friends,
I came home tonight to sleep with the boys. I haven't been home since I sent out the prayer email a couple days ago.
I was so comforted when I sat down here at the computer after an exhausting couple days in the ICU at St. Mary's hospital to find that I had so many good friends out there responding to me and sending emails and praying for Mark. Thank you so much.
Here is an update, since the accident he has had 3 chest tubes, 8 liters of blood, intubated, lung reinflated, on ventilator, exploratory surgery to find internal bleeding not only filling up his lungs but also his belly which turned out to be lacerated liver. He has broken bottom jaw, broken eye socket, several bruises and scratches, but the worst is the crushed lungs, internal lung bleeding and the 8 broken ribs on his right side.
since yesterday he has been sedated and now medically paralyzed so as to make him as comfortable as possible since he is dealing with an unbelievable amount of pain.
Tomorrow the plans are to insert a feeding tube that will come right out of his stomach, the only other choice was thru his nose because his mouth will be wired shut for several weeks when he is stable enough for jaw surgery. At that time they will also have to take all the ventilator tubes from his mouth and run his ventilator from a trach on his neck.
I will write when I can. Doc said this will be a VERY long time before he is able to be moved out of ICU and a couple more weeks or so maybe on the ventilator before he would be able to breath on his own. This thursday is a week since the accident.
Thank you to all the friends and family lending their support and prayers. Thank you to Mark’s friend, Donnie Drake who called me the morning of the accident to let me know Mark was missing. You’re a good friend Donnie.
Thank you for the prayers. Please keep praying, I love Mark so much, I don’t even want to think of having to live the rest of my life without him. He is everything to me.
Also, please understand if I can't answer your phone calls or emails in a timely manner.
Sincerely, Mallory

April 10, 2005
Dear Friends,
I haven't been home in a couple days, but I am home to spend the night with the boys tonight then back to hospital in the morning. I just wanted to give everyone an update on Mark. He has been in the ICU now for 10 days. The last time he had his eyes open was 8 days ago. Since the chest injuries were so severe to his lungs, the pulmonary doctor had decided to sedate him and have him on an around the clock paralytic medicine which puts him in a coma-like state. He can't move or open his eyes but he can still hear me talk to him. I know this because his blood pressure and EEG numbers rise a bit when I talk to him.
He now has a tracheotomy for his ventilator (breathing tube in his neck), doctor says since he will be on the ventilator for such a long period of time (weeks) that a trach was much more comfortable and less risky than having all the tubes down his throat. Right now the ventilator is the only thing keeping him alive.
He still has one small tube down his throat now which is a feeding tube, we have had some problems with his bowels being shut down, but hopefully they will start up again and he can receive the nutrition he needs from the feeding tube instead of just the IV.
His cuts and scratches on his face, arms, legs and back are healing nicely. It's just the lungs that are the major concern right now. The 8 broken ribs are suppose to heal on their own but take much longer.
The doctor said today that he is still not stable enough to have the surgery for his broken jaw, maybe in a week.
Since last week he has developed a bacterial infection of his intestines, something caught from the hospital, he has had fevers nightly now and has been put on a special heating/cooling blanket to keep his body temperature level.
He is now on antibiotics for the infection.
So the lungs are mostly the same and will be for quite awhile. Doctors keep telling us this is going to be a very, very long recovery. Weeks more in the ICU, probably months before he is sitting up and breathing on his own again.
Please keep praying for him. Thank you so much to all the friends and family that are sending emails, cards, letters, and visiting with us at the hospital (Mark can't have any visitors except immediate family anymore because of the risk of infection).
My dad has opened a Trust fund for Mark that is at all the 5/3 Banks in the nation, so please spread the word for anyone who would like to donate. Me and the boys appreciate it so much.
We also learned yesterday that the woman who hit him (who was too busy on her cell & smoking coming home from a party at 6am) only had minimum coverage liability insurance which means only $25k medical coverage per person. I didn't think that was legal, but apparently it is, so now we have another hill to climb. The doctors have already informed us that Mark's medical bills alone will be over $250,000 dollars! It's so scary, but I just try to think about Mark now and hope the Lord will take care of the rest. I can’t stand to see him like this, he is such a strong, healthy, determined man, I know he will make it through this.
I will keep you posted as often as I can.
Thank you so much
Sincerely,
Mallory
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MONDAY APRIL 11TH
was the worst day yet, his lungs were WORSE than when he came in on March 31st. They were completely filled with fluid (2 quarts came out), the pulmonary doctor did a bronchoscopy on him, put a vibrating chest vest on him to shake the junk from his lungs (which I'm sure was terribly painful with 8 broken ribs), suctioned his lungs every hour, completely took him off all the paralytic medicine and greatly reduced his sedation medicine. It was a terrible day and long night of 103 fevers, 204 blood pressure, coughing fits, deadly low oxygen levels and lots of crying (me not him). Dad and Vicki came over last night to watch the boys and I finally got home about 11pm after his blood pressure leveled out around 170. He was still mostly under the sedation but could blink his eyes (closed the whole time) to answer me. When I saw all his vital numbers on the machines sky rocketing at 9pm, him sweating and shaking, I asked him if he was in pain and he blinked his eyes as hard as he could to let me know something was terribly wrong, he started to crash, thankfully 2 other nurses ran in, first thing they did was turn the oxygen back up to 100% for him, thank goodness!!
He had a new nurse last night that was unfamiliar with him. Another nurse, who was really good and had been working with Mark before, had to come in to help. I know all those vital numbers by heart I watch them for hours now every day for almost 2 weeks. We knew that 204 is way too high for his blood pressure and 115 heart rate said something was definitely wrong. Plus his oxygen on his ventilator had been at 80% at 5pm and it had been turned it all the way down to 65% in just a couple hours. Even Dr. Rosareo said that was way too much in too short a time for someone so critical!!
So after everything was fixed, he did much better. Heart rate came down, oxygen intake levels rose and blood pressure went back down. I have to watch those numbers all the time. I wish they didn't change nurses all the time, they said they wish they didn't change either, I don't understand why the hospital can't let someone who is so seriously critical have the same nurse daily and the same nurse nightly who would be familiar with his situation. He had the best nurses the first couple weeks when he was life & death. Brian, the head nurse at the time, was awesome, then he got promoted, the next lady was really good too, she was there for about 8 days before they started changing everyday. We were so sad to lose them both.

I gave Mark's nurses lots of candles & thank you cards, I think they appreciated that. :-)
They said the ICU nurses don't get much appreciation since the patients usually are so critical that they don't remember being in ICU.

There was a mistake on saturday with Mark's ventilator, his levels were too low all day and I kept having to tell him to recheck his orders or get Dr. Rosareo for me to talk to , finally after checking the orders, he found that he had misread Dr. Rosareo's orders for Marks breaths per minute as 24 instead of what it was suppose to be 26, he had been gasping for more air he was getting suffocated. So the doctor got that fixed.

TUESDAY APRIL 12TH (13 DAYS IN ICU)
Today was much better than last night, I saw him as early as they would let me 9am and met with his pulmonary doctor, Dr. Rosareo. his vitals, temp and oxygen had all improved overnight finally! today was a better day, lungs looked better but Mark still hasn't woken up and he has been off the paralytic for a day and a half. Hopefully he will open his eyes tomorrow, The doctor says it's so important for him to wake up now so he can try to cough and keep his lungs clear, which is SO painful and difficult with all the broken ribs, broken jaw and trach tube coming out of his neck.
At least all his levels were better and stable today. His respiratory therapist is really good, she stays on top of things.
I haven't seen him open his eyes in 11 days now and it's so incredibly hard on me, I miss him so much. I stand by his bed holding his hand, caressing his forehead and hair, kissing him on his face and listening to the quiet rhythmic sounds of his ventilator, the only thing keeping him alive right now. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, the most frustrating, helpless feeling in the world.
Mark is everything to me, I love him so incredibly much, I miss the sound of his voice, his laugh. I miss seeing him open his eyes. I miss everything about him. I know he will make it thru this, but it's just like the doctors said, he is so seriously injured and critical that it's going to be a very, very long time. Please pray for him.
I don't how much more my heart can take and I know the road ahead of us is going to be so long and exhausting for us both. I just hope to God we come out of this stronger people and more in love than any two people have ever been. He is my EVERYTHING..... and I miss him SO much.

.......I want to thank everyone for the nice cards and emails, every little bit helps. I especially want to thank Mark's friend Bill Payne for the check he gave us to help us out and to Mark's friend Charlie Crabtree for coming to see him everyday and to Mark's best friend Scott Bohnenkemper for his support.  Also, thank you to my Dad and Vicki for coming over last night on short notice to care for the boys, I know there are so many of you out there who love Mark very much and are praying for him and I just want to say thanks. It means a lot. There are so many more I don't have email addresses for so if you have addresses for more of Mark's friends and family please forward my email updates to them if you can.
I thank god for my children. The boys are the only thing still making me smile right now, on most good days, I go home and pick up Wade and Cody from daycare try to share a few hours together in the evening before they go to bed & I head back to the hospital. I think that is all that is keeping me sane sometimes is my two little smiling boys. They are my little precious angels and I love them so much. They miss their daddy too, no children are allowed in ICU, it may be a couple months before they get to see daddy again.

These few hours I have in the evenings with Wade and Cody is so very precious to me now, my time to try to de-stress and be with my sons, so if you'd like to call me please call during the day and just leave me a message at home on the answering machine or if you need to talk to me you can reach me at the hospital, I am there every day until about 5 when I have to pick up the boys from daycare.
Thank you for your prayers.
Love you,
Mallory
**Thank you dad for setting up a trust fund for Mark, that was such a thoughtful idea.
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Saturday, April 16th, 2005 (17 days in ICU)
Dear Friends,
I have come home this afternoon after a long 2 days straight at the hospital. I feel so ripped apart, I want to be with my husband and I want to be with my children and I can't do both anymore for a very long time, I hate to constantly have to be choosing. It is breaking my heart. My cousin Stacey was SO kind to call me and offer to stay with the boys last night and this morning so I could be with Mark. Me & Mark's mom Linda have set up camp in the ICU waiting room, we sleep in the chairs & sometimes on the floor. I picked the corner of the small waiting room because it is the closest to Mark, he is just on the other side of the wall from me and sometimes I think I can feel him. I just sit and cry and watch the clock until its visiting time again....two and a half weeks now.

Mark is doing a little better. Yesterday was a TERRIBLE day! The bad news..... is he barely made the transportation from his ICU room to the surgery room for his second surgery (not counting the trach surgery). Unhooking him from the ventilator is SO traumatic, his body was thrashing about all the way down the hall, on the elevator and down into the surgery room, almost 4-5 minutes without any oxygen, only being bagged and the nurse that was suppose to be bagging him must have been drunk because she only inflated his lungs about twice within the whole trip, he was so desperate for air and kicking that he was trying to reach for the vent bag, to bag himself! It was torture for him and torture for me to see him like that. I kept telling them he can't breath!!

His jaw has been broken in two pieces since the accident, you could look inside his mouth and see the other half of his teeth laying in the back on his tongue. He had not been stable all this time for the transport down to surgery. The surgery itself was very fast and simple it's just transporting someone so critical with a ventilator, chest tubes and feeding tubes that is so life-threatening. But he made it.

The good news is he didn't have to have his mouth wired shut, the surgeon put in 2 bone brackets and 9 screws to hold it all back together and those will be in him the rest of his life. He should regain the use of his jaw movement in a couple weeks he said. The trauma surgeon was also there and he inserted a feeding tube that would come straight out of his belly, so they knocked out 2 surgeries in one trip so as to not be any more traumatic on Mark. So if you count the emergency surgery he had to have the first day where they cut his belly wide open, drained a liter of blood from his belly and fixed his lacerated liver, he had over 20 staples from that, the 3 chest tubes shoved through his ribs, then the tracheotomy surgery to move his ventilator from his mouth to his neck, the jaw repair surgery and the feeding tube surgery, I would think Mark has had enough surgeries!
Now we just wait and help him to heal the best we can. He is in such terrible pain all the time, he has been on a pain medicine called Delodid, not sure how it's spelled but I was told by the nurse it was stronger than morphine and it's still not enough. He is on a bed that inflates on each side every 5 minutes to move his body from side to side to get the fluid and blood off his lungs and into the chest tubes. Every time this bed moves him on each side you can see it in Mark's face that is hurts terribly from with the 8 broken ribs.
He is also being given a sedation medicine called Ativan when it gets to be too much pain which is often.
He has his eyes open now and can see me, he smiles at me when I walk in, but then he is usually so exhausted from the pain that he can't keep his eyes open very long. Of course he still can't talk and can't nod his head anymore from the loss of muscle strength, he just blinks his eyes. I lay my face next to his so I can feel his cheek on mine and he tries his best to press his head against mine, but just has little strength right now. I have to lift his head for him and try to make him as comfortable as I can. I put his arms up on pillows and rub his legs and feet for him.

I drove by the scene of the accident on the way home today for the first time at Green river and Millersburg rd. It was awful, a telephone pole had been completely broke in half and they had to install a new telephone pole. I could see the deep scratches in the asphalt and into the field. Small pieces of his truck and her car were everywhere along with lots of broken glass. It's just so sad. I just cried and cried, I still don't understand it. That stupid, stupid girl, was going full speed when she ran the stop sign and almost killed Mark. He was just trying to get to work.
All I know about her is she is 19 years old, her name is Shawna and she lives in Boonville, Indiana. The police said she was busy talking on her cell phone and was still talking on the cell after the accident. I don't think she even knows she hurt anybody. Someone says they saw her at the mall last weekend. She walked away from the accident and went home and probably doesn't even know what she has done to all of our lives and especially to poor Mark.


I went to the impound to see Mark’s truck, it was devastating, I fell to the ground when I saw it, my sister-in-law Sandra and brother-in-law Jackie had to hold me together, you just don’t realize what a nightmare it must have been for Mark, he was underneath the truck when the rescue workers arrived. The girl was still on the cell phone and cussing that she couldn’t find her cigarettes, can you believe that? As my husband laid dying under his truck, with collapsed lungs and his broken jaw laying loose on his chest. I heard this terrible story from the fire rescue man who is also our neighbor and then also from the man in the vehicle that had been behind Mark on Green River Road, that man works with my step mom and was first to jump out of his vehicle and help. So I heard the same awful story from 2 different people. He said he couldn’t believe that girl was still on the cell phone and said she kept screaming that she couldn’t find her f****** cigarettes as she fumbled around on the dash. When he asked her if she was on the phone with 911, she said NO, she hadn’t called them yet!! MY GOD! It’s just unbelievable the amount of anger that builds in me when I think of her heartlessness. The whole time noone even knew Mark was under the truck. The poor other driver, (the guy who was coming down green river towards Mark and hit him head on when the girl pushed Marks truck into the oncoming lane), Ralph Cole was the one who called for the ambulance and he suffered a BROKEN NECK!
The truck is even much worse in person, the dash is up in the roof, the steering wheel is bent forward where Mark's face hit it breaking his jaw, the drive train is laying on the ground. It's just unbelievable that someone could do this senseless act and not even bother to check if he is still alive. The anger builds and me and then the sadness and despair set in. I know she didn't mean to do this to Mark but it still hurts all the same. He is in incomprehendable pain. His mother just called me from the hospital as I was typing this and he is running a 207 blood pressure and in severe pain, you can see it on his face and the worst thing is his hands are tied down to the bed and he can't talk, it is TORTURE literally..............TORTURE.
Thank you everyone who has been praying for him, please pray for his pain to ease and the healing to begin. Thank you so much. Please forward this to more of his friends who's email addresses I don't have.
Sincerely,
Mark's wife,
Mallory

Dear Friends,
This is Friday, April 22, Mark's 23rd day in ICU at St. Mary's hospital. He is doing much better physically, but mentally it's getting hard. Good news is he is off the ventilator!! :-) He still has a trach tube in his throat so the doctors can still use it to clear his lungs, they are still full of fluid but getting much better.
He is still on a feeding tube that was inserted and comes out through his belly. Mark is VERY weak now and has lost most of his muscle strength and most of his weight. His fine motor skills have not come back yet either, like being able to scratch his face or write with a pen. He can't make a fist.
He can sit up now in a chair or on the bed and has tried to stand a couple times now. He can stand for only a few seconds before his legs give way, but this is all progress the doctors say.
It will take a long time going thru therapy before he will regain his muscle strength.
The doctor has planned on moving Mark to an ICU step down facility called St. Elizabeth's on Monday, it's actually just down the hall from where he is now, but this new room is much bigger and more like a regular hospital room, it will have a bathroom and a window, things he has not had in almost a month now. He will have to stay in this Icu facility for about a week or so before he is ready to be admitted to the St. Mary's rehabilitation center which is across the parking lot from where he is now. I hope for him to come home sometime in May.
He will also be able to see his sons, another thing he has been deprived of all this time. He can barely talk, only a whisper and doesn't have much to say right now. It's physically and emotionally draining to have been unable to talk for 22 days and also while on the ventilator his hands where in restraints and tied to the side of his bed so that he could not pull any vent tubes out in case he woke up and forgot or something.
He is being treated very well at St. Mary's but most the time I think he feels alot more like an inmate than a patient.
Mark is still not himself mentally yet, as the doctor says....he has gone thru probably the most tramatic thing in his life, it will be awhile before he can gain some emotional stability. If you come to visit him, try to keep it short, please go slow, don't ask too much at once and try to be very respectful of his condition, and most of all don't just stand and stare at him, of course that makes him terribly uncomfortable right now.
Today we found out he has another case of bacterial infection called c-diff (not sure how it's spelled) which is HIGHLY contagious, especially to children.

Anyone who knows Mark, knows how excrutiatingly hard it is for him to take orders, be tied down, not be able to talk and not have any control over his own bodily functions now for over three weeks. Not to forget the EXTREME pain, coughing, choking, humility and lost dignity he also has had to endure. But everyday now seems to be a little better, there are some setbacks but more steps forward at the same time. Just like anyone in the hospital, he has his good days and his bad days now.
Channel 25 news came out for the story, they interviewed me and the boys about Mark's story. It was on last night and about 3 times today. I think theres gonna be an article in the Evansville Courier and Press this weekend, there was also an article that was in the paper April 1st right after it happened.
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GOOD NEWS....Today at the 12pm visit, Mark was feeling fairly well and since he is not hooked up to too many things now, I was able to very gently, climb in his bed beside him and hold him, I laid my head on his shoulder and he put his arm around me and stroked my hair and kissed my cheek. It was the most special, loving moment I've ever had in my life, I will never forget it. We just laid there in the quiet for awhile together. The visits in ICU are limited to 15 minutes but as the nurse walked by and saw us for the first time in almost a month being able to hold each other again, she just winked at me and closed the curtain so we could have our moment.

It was indescribable, the wonderful feeling it gave me to lay next to him and hold him again. I think it lifted his spirits too. I love him SO much, I will never leave his side.

Love,
Mark's wife
Mallory

April 25, 2005
Dear Friends,
Thank you so much for your prayers.....they are working!!! This morning the doctors met to discuss Mark's status and they have now started calling him the "Miracle Man". Now that they know Mark is going to make it, the nurse came in today to tell me and Mark's mom that the doctors never expected Mark to live!!! Dr. Rosareo is his lung doctor and just can't believe he has made it this far!! Then when he made it through the first couple days, they said they didn't expect him to make it through the rest of the week, his injuries were so super severe they kept telling us and not to get our hope up.
But now! This is day 26 in the St. Mary's ICU and he is still with us and doing better every day. His nurses said they have NEVER seen anyone with such determination! Most of the patients as they get well, the nurses have to talk them into trying to sit up and trying to stand.......but with Mark, they can't keep him in the bed. He was still on ventilators, feeding tube, 8 broken ribs, etc and trying to get out of bed!

He is definately the ....."MIRACLE MAN" thank you so much to all our friends and family who have prayed for him. I am so relieved now that he is doing so much better.
He is off the ventilator, his trach was removed from his neck on Saturday, (everyone who knows Mark, knows how tough he is!) he is now only hooked up to a feeding tube through his belly and lots of monitors. He is breathing on his own, room air. Still has shortness of breath but doing good. His voice is coming back, a bit raspy but mostly understandable.
Sometimes he is still a bit confused and says things that don't make sense, but that is to be expected from being in such a horrific accident, being under intense medication, sedation and in a coma state for over 17 days straight.
If all goes as planned, our miracle man will be moved to Rehab at St. Mary's tomorrow. He is SO happy to finally leave that small ICU room that he has called home now for a MONTH!!! No windows, no nothing. He loses all sense of time, day, date, etc. So in Rehab he will have a regular hospital room with windows and a bathroom, he is SO anxious.
I am just relieved....this has been the longest MONTH OF OUR LIVES. We will never ever forget this.
Thank you to all our friends and family who have donated time, money, babysitting, lawn mowing and even an ear and a shoulder when we needed it. We STILL have a way to go but at least we are on the way to recovery.
I don't think that young girl that hit him will ever know how many lives it affected and how much pain and terrible suffering she caused. I am just happy that this horror story will have a happy ending.
Mark misses the boys something terrible too, the hospital won't let us take the children in the ICU, but they will get to see daddy when he goes to rehab finally! It's been a month.

Love,
Mark's wife,
Mallory

Update as of Tuesday, April 26, 2005 (Marks 27th day)

Mark has finally has left the small ICU room he has called home for 27 days!! He
was moved around noon today to the St. Mary's Rehabilitation Center. He is
extremely exhausted from the move, but hopefully after a couple days rest
he can begin a rehab program to regain his body strength and weight.
His main doctor is still Dr. Rosareo for now since his lungs are still the
issue, he has been his lung doctor since the first day. He is still very
sick right now and just wants to try to rest, the ICU is very loud all night
and day and very, very busy.

So this place is nice and quiet so he can try to finally get some good
sleep, it's been a month. He is still disoriented and confused at times, he
is not back to himself yet, but hopefully won't be long.

He has told me to ask that noone come visit yet, it's still too much for
him.

We got to bring Wade & Cody in the first time to see their daddy since the accident. However, it was not quite the joyous reunion he had anticipated. Daddy looks so much different, he is very skinny & all beat up looking. I tried to tell the boys what to expect but when they walked in, Cody was scared and wouldn't go to daddy and Wade cried. Mark was cleary very hurt and a depressed about it. He is already so depressed, it was really hard on him.


When he says he is up to it, sometime this week, I will bring in the HUGE stack of get well cards and letters everyone has been sending to him. He still can't hold them, but I will hold them for him and read them to him, I know he will love it and loves to hear from you all sending him your prayers and wishes for a recovery. I will tape them all over his room so he can see them. I've printed out several pictures of the family, me and the boys and taped them on the wall in his ICU so I brought those over to his new room and put them on the wall for him. He said it makes him feel good to look at them.

Now that we KNOW he is going to live, he asked if we would not have visitors for awhile, it makes him feel very uncomfortable and most of all embarrassed Mark said.
(especially since it's not to pay last respects as before the first week in the ICU, THANK GOD for that and thank you for everyone who was praying for him)

He stood on his own a couple more times today and could use the portable
potty chair by his bed already. The first time he has sat on a toilet since this has happened. These sound like small accomplishments, but they are huge to someone who has been
through so much and for such a long period of time. It feels nice to have some of his dignity
back, he has completely lost most of it all this time and you can see it in his face.

Sometimes, I'm not sure some of his friends understand what is going on, this wasn't just
some minor or even major surgery he was in the hospital for. This was a
very serious trauma, just like his doctors keep saying, very closely
resulting in death and he is just not quite past that yet and not ready to joke
and kid around. he won't ever be quite the same, Dr. Rosareo told us, but
most of him will come out of this.

But you can bet he WILL be ready for the conversations, joking and laughter,
FOR SURE, later when he is better :-) Just not now he said. He will be back to
"Good Ole Mark" soon, maybe in a few weeks. Maybe after he gets home for
awhile and can feel whole again.

I still just can't believe this has happened, sometimes I wonder how much
God thinks Mark and I can take.
I am just SO happy about his recovery and move to Rehab. This is such a
wonderful sign that all the praying has been working. I love him so much, I
couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

As you know, we have spent a month now living in the ICU waiting room,
during this time we have made special friendships with the other families
and especially wives who's husbands are also in the ICU. One of my new
friends just lost her husband today after being in ICU about a week to liver
failure, she is only in her late 30's and has an 8 year old daughter. Her
husband died just moments before Mark got moved to Rehab. So my heart goes
out to her and I pray that her heart finds some comfort that her husband is in heaven looking over her and their daughter now. We, Me and Mark's mom Linda, also left behind another friend who's husband is dying from Wagner's disease, she has lived in the ICU waiting room almost as long as we had and never left her husband, stayed there night and day non-stop. She still remains, praying and hoping and crying just as we had done over this last month, please pray that God looks over her and heals her husband,
her name is also Linda and her husband's name is Orville.

I've seen alot of families mourning while living every day
and lots of nights in that ICU waiting room, it's a very sad place to be. I am very thankful that we are one of the families moving on, I am very thankful for all the prayers and the love
that everyone has for Mark. He is a great man and now that this has
happened, I also see what great friends and family Mark has too. It's a
good feeling. The way I can best explain it is that I feel I can finally....exhale.

I know he is going to make it now and I am so happy he
will be coming home this summer. Thank you to everyone who has helped. We
still have a way to go, but we are definately over the worst part.

Thank you,
Love, Mark's wife,
Mallory
PS. the Evansville Courier & Press came out again to interview and take pictures, they are doing a story of the deadly intersection itself and how so many people have died there, probably be out in Wednesday's paper. Thank you. :-)

Email updates Mark's accident

Monday, May 2, 2005
Dear Friends & Family,
I have come home tonight to spend the night with the boys. I have been at the hospital with Mark every day and night since Thursday. Mark's mom and sister, Sandra, took care of the boys ALL weekend, thank God for them, they have been angels, sacrificing so much of their own time to take care of Wade and Cody for days at a time. Thank you.

Mark is doing better everyday. He can walk all the way down the long hall and back with a walker. Can make it to the restroom without a walker, has been working on his right shoulder with physical therapists, he has an AC separation which makes it impossible at the moment to raise his right arm. He can't pick up a drink or put on a shirt or take it off right now since his right arm won't cooperate, it is moderate pain he says, but anyone who knows Mark, knows how he is, he is so tough so if he says it's mild to moderate pain, then translated for the rest of us it means "severe"
He is SO busy during the day now at rehab, his day starts at 6am and goes non stop till about 6pm. Almost every hour he has a new activity, Speech Therapy, Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Psychologist, nurse, pills, eat and then start over again after lunch.
It's still hard for him to sleep at night, he is so uncomfortable he says, which is to be expected I'm sure with his injuries. He was xray'd again today for the chest as always but also for the pelvis, Doc thinks he also may have a fracture there that hasn't been caught.
Mark just found out about the diagnosis of his arm from the MRI he had done last week. We knew it didn't work, we just didn't know why.
He is in better spirits, but still depressed and angry, which the psychologist said is perfectly normal for this type of traumatic accident.
I am SO happy he is getting better. I hate to leave him at all. I had to leave last wed night because I didn't have a babysitter and Mark told me he didn't want me to leave and wanted me to stay the night, it broke my heart when I had to leave him. But luckily, that's when his mom and sister stepped in and took the kids for the last 4 days and nights for us. Mark and I have been doing good, he says I spoil him, that's my job :-) I love him SO much, I just can't wait until he can be home.
It's strange, he has been in the hospital for a month and 3 days now. He doesn't remember the first 3 weeks at all. All the sleepless nights we spent in the ICU waiting room just to be near him if anything happened and he doesn't remember any of it.......now, that he is getting better and can remember day to day again, he wants me to be with him all the time. Which I love, I love to be with him every second, but I also need to be with the boys too, I'll be so happy when my heart won't be ripped in two anymore between my husband and my sons, when I can have them all under ONE roof!!
I will feel so much better when my family is all home together again, where I can take care of everybody together.
Thank you for everyone who has been helping and sending money, mowing grass, feeding my cats and taking care of the boys.
A special thank you to Don Drake who raised $1350 for us!! The most awesome donation was a check from Dave Hicks, Mark's boss. Thank you so much.
We have received wonderful cards and donations from family too, Grandma, Aunt Gini, Mark's Uncle Harvey & Aunt Eva, my Aunt Lynn in Texas, my cousin Teta, gifts from my cousin Vicki, and many many more, I could keep going but I am very tired and still need to finish a load of laundry, take a shower and try to get some sleep before taking the babies to daycare in the morning and then finally getting back to Mark at the hospital, I try to get their early in the morning to help him with all I can before all the therapies begin.
Thank you for your prayers, they are WORKING!!!! :-)
Love,
Mark's wife,
Mallory

Hello, May 3, 2005
I thought I would send some pictures today to show you Mark's improvement!!! He looks wonderful doesn't he????
BIG change from the picture a month ago in ICU!!!!! And this is his hospital room at the Rehabilitation Center at St. Mary's he has a view of the garden outside and even a bird feeder.


He is improving everyday, it takes awhile but as you know Mark is a fighter! He walks all the way down the hall now with a walker, can almost dress himself (has a non-working right shoulder) eat REAL food and brush his teeth! He is also in a little better spirits, still very frustrated and sad alot but that's to be expected.
He only talks when he has to, his jaw gets sore fast now from the break and his facial muscles are almost extinct. But that is what all this therapy is for, he works non-stop all day long with Speech, Physical, Occupational Therapies, then with the Psychologist and nutrition specialists, etc. lots of work for someone who can only sit up for a short period of time and can only do about 15 minutes of activity before he is totally drained and has to lay down, but just think of what an improvement this is from even 2 weeks ago in the ICU!!! :-)


The docs, therapists and nurses meet tomorrow to discuss Mark's case and decide how much longer till he can come home. He will have outpatient rehab after he comes home, but hopefully not everyday, it's a long drive and I would have to keep the kids in daycare.
I brought all your cards and letters to the hospital today, he is just now finally aware of things and the world that I can read your get well cards to him, I put them up in his room on the window frames, he likes it............he can receive flowers and things now in this room, course he would much rather have FISHING LURES than flowers!!!!


Here's me with my hero, the 'miracle man'......again, Mark's visibly very thrilled of the picture taking.
(he'll thank me 20 years from now) besides, I knew you would like to see his improvement for yourself! :-)

This other picture is all the photographs I had printed out and taped up in his ICU room and now in his rehab room, so he could see me, the boys and his family to make him feel better.
Thank you so much for all the cards, prayers and kind words. We have LOTS of great friends and family.
Love,
Mark's wife,
Mallory



















May 5, 2005
Just wanted to send some pictures of the boys visit with Daddy this evening.





Checking out the pond in the Garden outside Daddy's room.















Boys like to ride with Daddy :-)

Mark is doing better, Doctor said he could go home next week!
Thanks for everyone who is praying, donating money & time, babysitting for us, mowing our lawn, etc.
It's all much appreciated!
All the staff at St. Mary's rehabilitation have been great. I gave all the nurses and therapists some of my homemade soy candles before we left to show them our appreciation!! :-)
Love,
Mark's wife,
Mallory


Monday, May 9, 2005 (39 days)

YES! After about 40 days in the hospital, Mark was finally released today around 1pm. We were thrilled! The ride home was so nice, we rolled the windows down and Mark just stared at everything....said it was so nice to see civilization again.
When we pulled in the garage he just wanted to stay outside awhile, I put a chair in the driveway for him and he sat out front looking at the front yard and the trees, everything so green, it was all still brown when he went in the hospital early spring. After a little while he walked from the driveway to the swing out in the backyard that is by the fishpond and just sat out there a little bit. He was so happy to be home, a little overwhelming too I think so I just let him slowly digest everything.
He is feeling better now and is laying in bed trying to get to sleep tonight. He has LOTS of pills we have to keep track of too. I had to run to the pharmacy this afternoon in addition to the grocery store and to Wendy's since Mark was craving a Wendy's bacon cheeseburger. And that's after unpacking tons of bags and taking care of Mark all day....We are both exhausted! I haven't been home in a couple days, so I know there are many emails for me to read and sort thru, 75 to be exact!! Whew! I may not get to all of them tonight. Lots of good friends and family though, I really appreciate it!
Our good friend Bill Payne who owns Performance Refinish Supply already stopped by today and gave us another donation! He is such a wonderful, special guy. Thanks Bill! :-)
Dad also came by tonight and had ran all the way to the store for us and bought Mark a shower chair and hand held shower sprayer, awesome! Thanks DAD, that saved me another long trip, gas and having to leave Mark again! He also brought us a donation from Emanuel Lutheran Church, thank you SO much for the generous donation, it's so nice. Dad also sent me beautiful mother's day flowers last weekend that were such a great surprise! thank you.
Aunt Jo sent us a donation so thoughtful, thank you so much. She has been sending wonderful cards and emails of encouragement, full of love, that is so appreciated!
there are SO many people who have helped us, prayed for us and donated to us, We are so GRATEFUL! We couldn't have made it thru this without you.
Here's a picture of Cody hangin' out with us in the hospital room Friday night! Cody spent all night with us in the hospital and did very well! The nurses all said what a good little boy he is :-)

God Bless,
Love,
Mark's wife,
Mallory


Tuesday, May 10th, First Full day home!!!
Mark had a nice day home today. Walked around the house a bit, pretty good, just a little wobbly, but mostly slept and rested which he needs alot of. Which anyone who's been hospitalized knows, you can't get any rest there! They come in every couple hours to poke and prod at you, so you never get much sleep :-)
We went back to the hospital to pick up another prescription today, he enjoyed the ride, it was a nice sunny day. I got tons of stuff done and caught up on, here at home, while he rested.
The boys are with Mamaw and Aunt Sandra, they are so nice to take care of the boys a few days so Mark can get settled in at home and relax.
Tomorrow morning is rehab which will last a few hours and then an appt with his jaw doctor tomorrow afternoon.
Things are going well so far, it will be a slow process, but having him HOME is WONDERFUL!! I am SO happy to have him here.
Thank you so much for everyone who has been helping us.
The next door neighbors came over again to mow the lawn today, that is such a load off of us. I am just SO grateful to everyone and we are so appreciative of all the wonderful help and support we have received.
We have the best group of friends and family anyone could ever have. I am relieved that Mark has made it thru this terrible time in his life and is definitely on the road to recovery! Thank you for your prayers
Love,
Mallory


May 11, 2005
Hi,
Mark is doing well. He is already in bed, goes to bed about 8pm every night, the boys just came home today, they have been at Mamaw's and Aunt Sandra's house the last 3 days. So this evening was the first time we were all home together, it's an unexplainable, wonderful feeling having your family back together under one roof. I am so relieved and grateful.
.....and exhausted(2 more little people to wait on, feed, bathe, clothe) But so glad to have them home! :-) It was kind of nice yesterday when it was just me and Mark home alone, that hasn't happened in years, then we got to missing the boys alot, so we were so glad to get them back today.
Got lots done yesterday, lots of bills paid (ours only) can't afford to pay any of the medical bills, tons of laundry, washed windows, cleaned house, organized marks pills, doctor appts, rehab schedule, etc.
Feel better now that I have a handle on things at home.
It's hard to remember this last month, it's like a tornado of sorrow, despair, lots of praying, crying, friends, family, cards, money, TV news, newspaper reporters, billing clerks, lawyers, lots of crying, lots of doctors, monitors, medicines, surgeries, nurses, trying to keep our chairs in the waiting rooms to sleep in at night from other people, finding babysitters, worrying about the boys, never seeing the boys, moving to rehab, mri's, chest x-rays every morning for a month!!!, it's just more than one person can take sometimes.
But then the storm has to stop sometime .....right? The flood waters would rise to my chin and just when I thought I was gonna drown a blood test comes back with good news or an oxygen monitor shows increased oxygen levels. That's all that kept me going was these tiny steps in the right direction, little steps of Mark's life being saved and coming back to me. The endless days of holding Mark's limp hand and stroking his hair while he was in a coma-like state, unresponsive.....seemed to never end, I remember the day he finally opened his eyes again, thought it would never come and now he is home again....Miracles DO happen.
You know you don't really understand it until you've been thru it, I've heard stories just like Marks before, but you don't 'get it' until you've had it happen to you.
I remember everyone around me telling me things, giving me advice, etc. "Things like this make you stronger" " God doesn't give you more than you can handle" "Miracles happen all the time" These words would just echo in my head over and over again like a broken record I remember the first 3-4 days I just spent in disbelief, staring at the floor and the clock, counting the minutes until the next visitation time.
Just so glad that is all behind us now. Have faith in God, he DOES listen and Miracles DO happen. It's the faith and hope that kept us going.
Love you all,
Mallory









May 15, 2005

Here is our family VERY happy to have Daddy back home again...........

Daddy is still thin from laying in the ICU hospital bed so long, but he'll get the weight back on, but doesn't he look GREAT!!
We are SO happy, I can't even explain it.
We are going over to his mom's house today for SUNDAY SUPPER!! :-) Things are slowly coming back to normal.
I am just SO grateful to God that he made it and we can all be a family again! We wouldn't have been able to make it without him.
We love him SO much!
Love,
Mallory



May 21, 2005
Hi,
You won't believe what happened Thursday night!!!! TOYOTA CALLED!!
Wanted Mark to start right away!! He is definitely hired, and is in the hiring pool. He had to tell her he was in a terrible accident and wouldn't be up to working for a little while. She said that she would keep him in the pool, which is only about 50 people right now she said, and as soon as he is ready to work, he can start at Toyota!! :-)
Isn't that nice?! I think God was just testing us. Trying to get us used to living on -0- income for awhile, so we will be prepared for the cut in pay.
So, hopefully everything will work out now. I sent ya'll an email letting you know that the benefit car wash is tomorrow that our friends, Don & Sonya Drake are putting on.
Our friend Greg Wells is doing a car show benefit for us in July. We are lucky to have so many great friends and family.
We took Mark to physical therapy again yesterday, they work on his shoulder alot trying to get it back to functioning again. He also rode an exercise bike for 5 minutes, which is really good, right now his endurance level is super low and 5 minutes is great. He will get back to his old self soon. And now that Toyota is waiting for him, that will give him incentive to work that much harder!
He is still in pain and has to stay on Darvocet 24/7 but it's getting better all the time. His jaw is doing alright, we just saw the jaw doctor this week and said it looks good, but he may lose a couple teeth in the front right where the split went down. The would just die and fall out, shouldn't be painful he said and later on Mark could have implants put in. He can eat most things, just nothing hard and crunchy, like hard candy.
He walks really stiff without moving his head or neck much and still has very little facial expression when he talks. Hope all that comes back.
The boys are doing good and know not to jump on daddy. We are just so happy to all be home together.
Our friend Scott came by to visit yesterday and Don & Sonya were here Thursday night when Toyota called. Mark likes to see his friends now, makes him feel good.
He was still so down and out in the hospital he didn't want anyone to see him. Mostly because he couldn't stand to talk, his jaw would hurt so bad and for the fact that he was still using bed urinal and potty chair next to his bed and had to go all the time since he had that intestinal infection, seadiff (that was contagious). He had caught that infection from the ICU. He just got over that the last week in Rehab.
Anyway, he is doing good. Mostly just sits in the chair, lays on the couch and lays in the bed, changing spots every hour because he gets so uncomfortable. But he can take visitors now.
We are going to Linda's tomorrow afternoon for her birthday.
Hope everyone is doing alright.
We love you,
Mallory